I should have died 10 years ago. Worm fodder. Pushing up daffodils. Kaputz…however you like to say it. Instead, I’ve been on a 10 year journey to wellness and am still working on it. I call it “Surviving Cancer by Your Own Bootstraps.” Can it be done? Well, yes…I am writing this, aren’t ? Do I still have work to do? You bet. Have I done it alone? Nobody survives cancer alone, my friend, that is a community project.
If it weren’t for my husband I’d be dead. Can’t even describe the bazillion things he did along the way to help me persevere. And my friend Karen? Now there is a woman who is not just a fair weather friend. She’s a scorpio and she went the distance with me, through some very turbulent waters. Divine intervention also played a part but as I told someone yesterday, “God helps those who help themselves.” And He does expect you to work!
Here’s the short version of my survival story. Ten years ago I found a lump. Despite all of my feelings of not wanting to go down a traditional medical route, I allowed myself to be talked into it. Let’s just say the FEAR factor was huge and it over-rode my common sense. Shortly after I finished the horrific medical treatment, I began to have problems. That should tell you how well chemo worked for me. (Oh yea, I am not a believer nor a fan.) I remember sitting on the couch with my husband at age 40 and thinking, “I am going to take the short walk home.”
When you have “cancer trouble” it is not a minor issue especially when it is system wide. The pain was unbearable, rather like a pick ax going through my bones. With things going wrong in every direction, I realized that I was dying. I honestly can’t say what the pivotal turning point was but I know it was a mental shift more than anything, and I simply decided that I was not ready to die. That was when I began to fight. To see me, you would not expect to find a warrior woman inside my skin but I have discovered that I am made of piss and vinegar and I got fight. Which is good, because it has taken nothing less than a full-blown effort to make my stand.
How did I do it? Well, there was no one thing…in fact, it has taken work on every level (6th house of health is in Taurus, a fixed sign). Bear in mind, that I do not offer any of this as medical advice to anyone…because doing so could put me behind gray bars. The medical profession looks very poorly on people healing themselves and much more so on others without medical degrees who try to help fellow travelers to do the same. I have zippo for medical knowledge so all I can do is to share my story of survival with you. How you approach your own wellness is entirely up to you. All I can say is that I am here because of what I did for myself. If I had followed the wishes of my doctors, I would be very, very dead. Only you can choose what is right for you.
For me, it was detoxify or die. I chose to clean up my act.
Cleansing was a huge part of getting well. I did two month long colon cleanses with a product called arise and shine while fasting on vegetable juice. Ghastly, that is all I can say about that…but did it work? Oh yea, it reset my biological clock like you can’t imagine and cleaning your gut means you have a far better chance of absorbing your food and recolonizing with healthy bacteria. Since 80% of your immune system resides in your gut, and cancer is in essence a disease of the immune system, healing the gut is super important.
After the gut cleanse, I decided it was time to move onto my gallbladder/liver. After reading a book by a naturopathic doctor, I followed a week long process for squeezing stones out of these organs by ingesting a combination of malic acid powder, epsom salt water and a jug of lemon juice and olive oil. My liver went into squeeze mode (I felt it!) and true to form, stones of various sizes popped out, the biggest of which was the size of a pea.
Next we built a sauna. I was determined to flush out not only all of the chemicals the doctors had pumped into me but the toxins I had accumulated along the way by simply eating a sad diet (Sad = Standard American Diet). Preservatives, chemicals, additives…all of those needed to go and sweating them out through the pores seemed beneficial. Every night for a month, I trudged into the sauna for a several hour session of “sweating my prayers.” Niacin helps to open the pores and the intent was to create an open pathway to sweat freely. At one point in the process, my husband outgassed ammonia which he attributes to mopping floors when he was in his teens. Just like fatty fish, we store things in our fat cells and the idea behind the sauna was to release some of that. Aside from that, it felt great.
Well, many paragraphs into this post, I realize that you cannot describe how you have saved your own life in one little jotting, so I’ll break this down into a series of posts so you can get the whole picture.
Astrologically speaking, while this was going on, Pluto was crossing through my first house. Where Pluto walks, you either change or die, there are really very few other choices. Pluto takes no hostages. Figure it out, go gracefully, or get plowed under. The first house represents the body so fortunately, I figured it out. Since Pluto is all about toxins and bringing forth that which is buried or hidden and transforming the fodder, it seems quite appropriate that this was happening at the time. You could easily say, I was born anew in the process.
Though I had grown up with certain religious beliefs that I still clung to, I hadn’t spent as much time pondering my true essential nature as I should have. Face your own death, and you will dig deep into that well to find what you truly believe. With Pluto in Sagittarius, I searched hard for my truth. Who was I really? Was I my hair (which I shaved off pre-chemo)? Was I pair of perfect breasts? Who exactly was I? When I finally calmed down enough to process what I knew instinctually, my fear lessened. Meet indestructible me…my spirit is my true essential self and cancer can’t touch that.
Back in those days, I was not astrologically savvy. Nonetheless, that pretty much captures part one of how I have survived the unsurvivable, Pluto transit and all. I did it by detoxifying and by recognizing that I have a huge, powerful, indestructible spirit. (That same spirit fought fires for a living, ran a Stihl chainsaw, and carried a 65 lb. pack into the winderness for many a solo backpacking trip. So I can see now there is a core of strength to draw on when times get rocky.)
Stay tuned. There is more to the tale and after 10 years, I am finally willing to share. The next installment will be about food and the dwarf planet Ceres which happens to fall on my mid-Heaven.